well well well. whaddya know? i rediscovered my Xanga blog! and this is old. really old. the last post and this is about two years apart. it's quite amazing to revisited all your old blogs just to see how you're doing then and to compare it with what you're doing now. in 2009 i wanted to complete a marathon and in 2010 i planned to participate in the 24-hour playwright competition. i fulfilled my marathon quotas. in fact, i not only ran one marathon, but went on to complete 5 more (all short distances). i'm happy with that, even though i still do not jog as constantly as i would like to. sadly, i did not participate in the 24-hour play writing competition. i did not follow up with it (read: i did not check the date and missed the application timing). 

oh well. no regrets though. i'm busy enough as it is and i do not have a great story at hand. will spare the play writing competition some thought next year. 

cheers and a happy and fulfilled 2012 to all. 

All i wish for is...

For 2009, I didn't make any resolutions. That is because I do not believe in them anymore. Usually the ones I make I don't fulfil. So what is the point? However, there is something that I wanted to do when I bought my first pair of proper running shoes (Nike) in 2008. While holding that pair of shoes, I thought to myself, it is time to get myself together, get fit, stop procrastinating and start jogging! By 2009, I should be participating in a marathon, any marathon, any distance. 

I finally realised the importance of every single hour, minute and seconds in a day. And how little and rare there seem to be of it.

I shall give up my dream of learning how to ride a bike.

If you remember, in year 2008, one of my primary/secondary friends got into a motorbike accident which left him unable to walk, eat or even talk. Now he's moved into a home which has nurses to look after him. He has recovered well, and gradually he could talk. He also regained his memory, according to my friend, but still unable to walk. I have yet to visit him since his unconscious days in the hospital. Will be making a trip down on Saturday to see how he is.

Today, the first day of the first month of the new year, I received a call from my friend-cum-colleague. She bore bad news. A friend, our colleague, our senior (he's in the same course in the polytechnic we studied in), has passed away. It was a motorbike accident. Apparently he was riding along the highway in Malaysia and crashed into the side railings. He was very young, about a year or two older than me. I was shocked to hear the news. It's the suddenness that shocked me. Yesterday I'm sure, we're all enjoying ourselves, going about our celebrations in marshaling the coming new year. You wouldn't expect to get such news. But in life, anything can happen right? Absolutely anything. It doesn't matter how young, how beautiful, how rich, how confident or how strong you are. You aren't granted immunity from life. That is just how it is. I'm still expecting to lunching with him and our colleagues the coming Monday. I am expecting to being 'real' colleagues with him when I join their office.

I am speechless and somehow, emotionally drained. We weren't close, like friends, but given more time, he probably could be my abang. Abang Idzwan.

Tomorrow I am having my practical driving test for the third time. They say third time's a charm. I hope it is.

Happy New Year to all of you. Live fully, live right, live happy and live dreamily. After all, you live only once.

Yesterday I was telling my friend, after leaving a Christmas dinner at a friend's house, that Christmas this year don't feel like Christmas. Maybe it is because I didn't do any shopping for anyone this year. Sure I bought a few presents here and there, but it is customary. And to be honest, I didn't give much thought into those presents. I remember Christmas shopping as one which I shop for others. Tiring and headache-inducing as it is, I always enjoyed it, partly because giving is better than receiving. I feel joy in picking little trinkets and what-nots and wondering if the receiver would like it. And being in shopping centers during this season always gives me the Christmas mood due to the festive decorations and cheery background music. Not forgetting the festive sales all over too ;). I also like lugging home the big/small bags of 'treasures' and wrapping them up nicely. Penning the gift tags and cards also give me joy. This year however, my mood is dampened by my state of finances. I'm not the only one who missed out on the joy of giving this year. A few of my friends didn't get presents either.

Frankly, getting presents needn't be expensive. I could spent money on some flour, chocolate chips and bake batches of cookies which I could use as gifts. But somehow, I just don't have the mood for it. The Christmas spirit isn't there this year. I don't bother decorating my house with a Christmas tree, I didn't write cards to my friends (as I would usually do), I didn't even attend my family gathering (a tradition we follow every year). I just don't feel the need to. There's no motivation or enthusiasm for celebrating it. I attended church on the Eve, just as a formality. I also went to my friend's house for dinner and it is fun, but it feels like any other gathering we have. In fact the holiday yesterday felt like a normal average weekend.

This morning I woke up dreading work. I'm not refreshed or re-energized. That's when I realized I got it all wrong. Christmas isn't about the presents, the cards, the food or the festivities going on. It is about remembering the true meaning of it. How Jesus came into this world, how He sacrificed his life for all of us and the love that he brought. Giving is about the blessings and love you're giving, not physical things. To celebrate Christmas we don't even need all the songs, the chestnuts roasting on an open fire (my favourite Christmas song btw) or the jingle bells. Strip away the frills and just reflect on His love and grace. Bask in His glory and rejoice. Thank Him for everything you have, and things yet to come. Christmas can be a simple affair. Just look beyond the colorful facade and think deeper.

However, I'm quite sure Christmas shopping will resume next year! Never gonna give that up :)

cheer.s

I've caught the highly anticipated Twilight on its opening night. And while I waited with bated breath for it to start, I must say that the movie did not take my breath away. Maybe it is the book-to-movie syndrome, which you would immediately start comparing the movie to the book. And with each passing scene I grew more and more disappointed. And I don't want to feel disappointed! I have been waiting for this movie ever since the hype began.

Firstly the big problem for me is the casting. All in all I don't like who they casted as Edward (dear oh dear! he's the main reason for the book) and Bella's father. I have one word for both of them, STIFF. seriously, Rob Pattinson (no offence to thousands of young girls out there) cannot act very well. Firstly, he comes across as looking shock all the time, and his behaviour can only be described as weird. In the book, he is cool, seems like a smooth operator and only has intense debates with himself internally when he met Bella. But in the movie, he has this permanently shocked face, and doesn't really seem to know what to do. It's very awkward watching him. And well, let's just say he isn't what I imagined Edward Cullen to look like. The hair, for one thing, is straight up stiff. Maybe it's my fault but I always picture Edward to have a head full of soft, baby fine hair that tumbles down and hides his mysterious eyes (like playing hide-and-seek with his alluring eyes). Also, his features aren't very medieval/aristocratic like. Isn't he suppose to possess some very handsome features of the past? I shan't go into tiny details regarding his nose and eyes (which I have gripes on) because, Rob Pattinson is born like that so I'm not going to mess with nature. Only I wish Stephanie Meyers had been more demanding and insisted on her #1 choice to play the role of Edward. Henry Cavill. Now there is a good looker with fine features worthy of that role. If I had a hand in casting, I wouldn't mind Jonathan Rhys Meyer too. But yes I know, he might be quite overage to be Edward. I'm fine with Kristen Stewart. I have always liked her and I'm not surprised when they casted her as Bella. She's great in the movie too, though she emotes a little too much. I don't think teenagers express their emotions that painfully and that bewilderingly. But she's great to watch. As for the other characters, I like Emmett, big burly and friendly. Rosalie is very normal looking, that is quite a disappointment too. She just looks like any sourpuss girl around. Alice is really pretty and Jaspar is really isn't much of a presence because in the first book nothing much is required of him. He just has constipation etched into his look and I can understand why.

Second problem with this movie, it is a poor adaptation of the book. Story line moves quite fast and some scenes look amateurish. I've read an interview with the director, Catherine Hardwicke, and she said they only had a small budget for the movie. There are some scenes she wished to re-shoot but just didn't have enough money for. I find that very sad, because almost all fantasy book adaptations have over-the-sky budgets and the movie usually lasts an epic three hours. Why isn't Twilight given the same chance? I believe more could be done on a bigger budget that would improve the movie a lot. The scenes could be done better, the effects could be more dazzling (especially the effect of Edward glittering in the sunlight. It looks really fake in the movie) and the whole thing could tie up better with added scenes. Also, not that I've watched her other movies, but I don't really like this director for reasons unknown. Therefore I have to admit I'm quite glad they changed her to Chris Weitz, who directed About a Boy and Golden Compass. He seems more suited to helm a fantasy genre movie.

Other than that, the movie is alright. Just watch it to compare with the book. Having said all that, I can't wait to watch New Moon! This time I hope it will be a larger production and more explosive!

cheer.s

my right knee hurt. feels like rheumatism. oh horrors! at such at age?!

i digress. sometimes you logged onto Facebook, glanced through your updates and something stopped your heart. Facebook is a great idea of keeping in touch and up-to-date with your friends, especially those that you don't normally see. but some friends, i meant those that you might have an history with, you might not want to see updated. i just logged onto Facebook and yes, his site was updated with a new album. And being curious and somewhat, sadistic to myself, i clicked onto it. the photos remind me so much of the ones taken the year before. the same place, the same activities, the same faces for the guys, but a different set of girl friends. i have those photos, but i never looked at them anymore. there are some memories that you wish could be kept away.

blah blah blah blah blah BLAH!

i am glad to get away from it all. hustles and bustles, traffic and noise, superiors and work. i can do away with them all, even if it is only for a short period of time. for the six days that i am away, i hope to be able to breathe, to loosen up, let my hair down (no matter how short it is), to rediscover my inner child, get fat and just laugh. laugh hard, laugh loud, laugh freely. hopefully along the way i can acquire a few good buys too :)

i believe in a little break amidst the dull and routine periods.

now i'm in the mood for some We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things.

I got the dynamo of volition, the po-pole position
Automatic transmission with lo-ow emissions
I'm a brand-new edition to the old edition
With the love unconditional.


And I'm a drama abolitionist
Damn no opposition to my proposition
Half of a man, half magician, half a politician
Holding the mic like ammunition
And my vision is as simple as light

Ain't no reason we should be in a fight
No demolition, get to vote, get to say what you like
Procreation, compositions already written by themselves
"Heck" is for the people not believin' in 'Gosh'.

Good job, get 'em up way high, gimme, gimme that high five
Good time, get 'em way down low, gimme, gimme that low dough
Good god, bring 'em back again and gimme, gimme that high ten
You're the best definition of good intention.

I do not answer the call if I do not know who is calling
I guess the whole point of it all is that we never know really
I'm tryin' to keep with the Jones', while waiting for Guns and the Roses
To finish what we all suppose is gonna be the shit that's silly.

Oh fists knocked, bumpin' in wristlock, twistin' up a Rizla
Kid Icarus on the transistor, Nintendo been givin' me the blister
I bend over take it in the kisser.
My best friends are hittin' on my sister
Try to tell 'em that they still a wisher
Cause she already got herself a mister
And, besides, that's gross to wanna dis her
A-di-di-di-di-di-didn't I say, didn't I say.

Good job, get 'em up way high, gimme, gimme that high five
Good time, get 'em way down low, gimme, gimme that low dough
Good god, bring 'em back again and gimme, gimme that high ten
You're the best definition of good versus evil.

I do not keep up with statistics I do not sleep without a mistress
I do not eat unless it's fixed with some kind of sweet, like a licorice
My home is deep inside the mystics I'm known to keep diggin' on existence
I'm holdin' in the heat like a fish stick My phone it beeps because I missed it.

I do not answer the call if I do not know who is calling
I'm making no sense of it all, say can I get a witness
I'm only a boy in a story, just a hallucinatory
Trippin' on nothing there is, living in the wilderness.

With a tiger spot on my back, living life of a cat
I just wanna relax here and write another rap tune
Driving off on your blind man's bike You can say just what you like
Ahh... Nothing can stop you.

Good job, get 'em up way high, gimme, gimme that high five
Good time, get 'em way down low, gimme, gimme that low dough
Good god, bring 'em back again and gimme, gimme that high ten
You're the best, You're the best, You're the best, You're the best,
You're the best, You're the best, You're the best.

Good job, get 'em up way high, gimme, gimme that high five
Good time, get 'em way down low, gimme, gimme that low dough
Good god, bring 'em back again and gimme, gimme that high ten
You're the best definition of good intention
You're the best definition of good intention
You're the best definition of good intention
You're the best around!

- Jason Mraz

cheer.s!